March 17, 2008
First Draft
The bright sun momentarily blinded him as he walked through the open portal onto the smooth white surfacing outside. Gleaming in the light at the center of the courtyard was the object that they had been telling him about. It was smaller than he expected, but it belied a kind of constrained energy that gave him goosebumps. The silvery paneling shone with a kind of unearthly reflection, distorting the sunshine into a white arc. It was literally painful to look at in the midday sun.They had told him that it helped to think of it as simply a kind of exoskeleton. He tried, but the sheer presence of the thing was awe-inspiring. He found himself trailing a finger along the leading edge, and even in the hot sun the surface was quite cool. The entry to the cockpit was a smooth depression on the lee side, and he slid into the waiting seat with ease. He was surrounded by controls, more than he even had imagined. They had told him that the vast majority of them were not necessary for the the primary use of the the object, but he felt overwhelmed nonetheless.
He remembered from the pictures which things were important for operation and tried to focus on those. The driver's seat was suprisingly straightforward, and he grasped the ovoid main drive control, feeling for the various velocity adjustment levers at his feet. The seat underneath him held him in place securely, and everything that he needed for operation was barely a hand's width away. A sense of amazement washed over him, as he thought about the unseen implements that would eventually rocket him out of this courtyard and into the world beyond. He took a moment to savor the relaxed feeling he was experiencing, for he would surely be awash in adrenaline.
They has given him an entry and verification implement for making the exoskeleton functional, and he inserted it onto the reader by his right hand. The device must have accepted his key, as he was immediately rewarded with a gentle hum and the activation of the various displays and readouts surrounding him. Almost imperceptibly, the atmosphere inside the cockpit had equalized to a comfortable temperature and humidity, even though the air outside had begun to make him sweat.
The object required no other steps for startup, so he switched it to its main drive function, and nearly crashed into the wall in front of him. They had told him that the velocity controls were sensitive, and that they would take some getting used to, and he now fully believed them. The main drive control was simple enough to use, and he turned the object around, slowly this time, and accelerated out of the courtyard.
He took it slowly at first, getting a feel for the way that the extremely sensitive controls and how they interacted. Soon he had a good feel for it, and felt that he could test maneuvers at some higher speeds. He slowly increased the output of the engine, wondering at what point it would reach its maximum. It turned out that he reached his comfort level long before the object topped out.
Settling it back in courtyard, he dropped the card with the officer that had issued it to him. They exchanged a knowing glance, and he went into the administration wing to turn in his acceptance for the program.
What a machine.
Comments:
I like it.
:)
Two technical notes...
at the top of the fourth paragraph from the bottom, you wrote that he "has" something when it should be "had".
and then - just out of my opinion - you have "slowly" at the bottom of I believe that same paragraph, and then started the next paragraph with a sentence using "slowly" again. For me it just make my brain do a double take when I read it.
I am excited to see what else you are coming up with!
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:)
Two technical notes...
at the top of the fourth paragraph from the bottom, you wrote that he "has" something when it should be "had".
and then - just out of my opinion - you have "slowly" at the bottom of I believe that same paragraph, and then started the next paragraph with a sentence using "slowly" again. For me it just make my brain do a double take when I read it.
I am excited to see what else you are coming up with!
ps. i wrote that comment as anonymous because I can't remember my blogger password...
Vicki
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Vicki
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