Glee

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The Return of the Dead-eyes.

That was exhausting. I feel like I have been doing jumping jacks for the past month.

I truly don't know where to start. I have been typing and retyping these first two sentences for five minutes now.

Stockholm is crazy awesome, Amsterdam is in the process of slowly falling over, Dusseldorf has the best tram system ever, and rural Germany is exactly like a painting.

Let's try this: Europe is getting it right. Everything over the pond is quite similar to what we have here, but the small differences become glaring. Both continents have great food, fantastic landscapes, and nice people. Both are very prosperous, and are trying to deal the the problems of a city in marginally effective ways.

However, here in the states, we have a very different process. We are not really expected to have any personal responsibility, as most things are done for us, or told to us. We have very little impetus to figure out what is going on for ourselves because it is plastered all over the walls in yellow lettering. The places that I visited in Europe did not have that mindset. One was expected to apply a certain amount of common sense to everyday things in order to stay safe, definitely not too much to ask.

The most obvious example: Trains. Getting on a train in Düsseldorf is extremely straightforward. There is a white stripe next to the drop-off, and there is a chime that lets you know that the doors are about to close. In the US, we are barraged with vocal and written warnings, lights, bells, and whistles. We are told to move away from the doors, even though the doors are equipped so as to not cut off fingers. We are cautioned to grab a handhold because the train is about to start moving (as if we were expecting it to stand still).

This type of thing makes up the most apparent difference between the mindsets of these two regions. People seem to be given a modicum of leeway over there, acknowledging that we usually have a large amount of reason available to us, and that it is healthy to use it on a daily basis, lest we end up expecting too much hand-holding.

Also of note to me in particular was the accessibility of every city that we were in to bicyclists. Stockholm and Amsterdam in particular, but even Berlin and Düsseldorf had cycling infrastructure that would put any US city to shame. What I saw was an acceptance that people were going to bike around the city; the easier you make it, the more smoothly people can get around, and the less congested the roads get.

Also, Germany has wind turbines all over the place. It seems like every other little farm has a handful of them. This makes me very jealous.

I could only really find a couple of things to dislike about the places that we visited:

• No drinking fountains.
• No free water at restaraunts, you order a water you get a $3 bottle of it.
• Very few public toilets, and the ones there are usually cost $$.
• No real parking restrictions, people park on anything and everything.
  

Aside from having to plan water intake and output ahead of time, the trip was possibly the best vacation I have ever taken, vying for #1 with the Hawaii trip with my family in 2000, and the Canada Road trip of 2005.

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Stockholm, Sweden

Stunning, really. Europe is like a oddly shaped delicious apple. One that is covered in genius caramel.

I wasn't expecting to be able to blog much while on vacation, but thus far, the internets have been readily available. I know, weird. Internets in Europe. Man.

Seriously, though, this is shaping up to be the best vacation ever.

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VACATION

In Dusseldorf presently, this place is fantastic. City the size of St Paul, but with the infrastructure of someplace like New York. Completely nuts.

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Currently Reading:

Ragamuffin - Tobias S. Bucknell

I was turned on to this author after signing up for the Watch the Skies promotion (free e-books) that Tor is putting on. I hate reading books through a screen, but I could barely tear my eyes away from Crystal Rain, the precursor to Ragamuffin, which I am currently reading. There is an additional book coming out soon, (Sly Mongoose) which I anticipate eagerly.

This guy really knows how to set the hook. The books are short, and definitely nothing awe-inspiring in terms of deep philosophy, but I'll be damned if they aren't some of the most fun that I have ever had with a novel. The characters are fantastically realized, and their environments would please even the most hard-minded SciFi fan.

More intriguing than all of this, however, is the universe that these books are set in. As one finds out quickly, the human race is not is a great position. We have been pretty late in the game as far as colonization goes, and most of the planets that we have found have already been settled by other intelligent species. Our species has already gone through a few cycles of slavery and emancipation, and when these books take place, things are looking pretty grim.

I've come across a great host of fun new authors in the past few months, and Tobias is perhaps the best of them. I am definitely hooked.

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I have some news:

I have decided to name my fists:

The left one = Logic.
The right one = Reason.

This way if I ever get into a fight and win, I can say that I beat the shit out of them with logic and reason.

Also, I can kick my wife with science, starting today.

Watch out.

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Assigning it a number helps me to cope.

On a scale of 1 to 10

1 = shit
10 = great

Any normal day starts at a 5, and is modified by a number of factors.

• Hangover: -2
• Sniffle sick: -2
• Have to go to work: -4
• Puke up a lung sick: -6
• Missing organs: -10

• Fun plans: +2
• No immediate cause to change out of pajamas: +4
• Best night's sleep that you've had in months: +6
  
• Waking up in a tent, outdoors, to the sound and smell of a crackling breakfast fire: +8

On this scale, I have a +2(fun plans), -2(sniffle sick), -4(had to go to work) day. This means that I am at a 1. That feels about right. At least I am above 0, I guess.

Hopefully tomorrow will at least approach 5. I wonder what my days even out to, on this scale. My weekdays are all usually below 5, but my weekends are usually well above, some

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Best Thing Ever

I'm sure you all know about Mr Munroe's Best Thing Ever generator. If not go check it out (beware, there is no censorship).

Here are some great matchups that I got while trying to cool off here at work:

Titties! <-> Tuesday

• This one just sounds great when spoken aloud.
  

Left-handed snakes <-> Laser eye vision

• I can't help but picture these two together.
  

Rubbing your body with spoons <-> Spooning

• That gives a whole new meaning to "spooning."

Giving a haxxor a wedgie <-> Cheesy puppy buttercups! less than three!!

• 'Nuff said.
  

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April the First

These are the things that have happened today.

• I have decided to go buy a truck
• I have found Jesus
• I now wear a tie and sport jacket to work every day
• I have realized how empty life as a Dirty Liberal is. I am now a full card-carrying Conservative Republican.
  

Yes, all these things and more have happened this day.

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